When we screened the Cidade Queer film at K.o.clubmilano during the socially engaged ‘school’ at @viafarini in Milano — and after a week+ of watching her and trying to figure out the matron of the arts organization — I finally figured you out. When your friend and former employee, the other curator, dressed down to fishnets to give you her sparkling hot pants and when you came out of the back room wearing them to a new song.
You are bat shit crazy, and I love you. Both. You made my night and my week. When Mercedes gave me and the Brazilian rentboy a free round at the bar and did her show after the film screened, my night was already frothy with good steam. When the Romanians didn’t retreat to the darkroom but watched with us and plugged in their iPhones so we could dance to their music. When the car full of glitter and fun hit the tree but only at 5 mph. Fellini couldn’t have staged that better for us exiting the bar.
I couldn’t remember your friend’s (former employee) name so I pulled out her card at the event in Amsterdam a month later to see if the Milanese curator would know her … and you. He had just moved back to Italy from Asia.
“I can’t … I just can’t. Not that. Not now.” We are fond of each other in a light way. Meeting in Amsterdam or at a party in São Paulo during the Esche biennial. I had produced her card and his negative reaction was strong. It included you, and seemingly some of the Milan-artworld-specific issues we discussed — and you ranted about — during the ‘school’ in October. I guess he doesn’t like you. But why?
You see, I didn’t ask. I should have. Instead I shook my head in agreement because indeed you are bat shit crazy. But what if there was no good reason at all? What if I had instead responded to him that the American in Italy says similarly vague, negative things about him. Would it have worked in the ‘network’ setting? Polite society.
That was 2017 and this is 2018. I want to live a more respectable, ‘conference whore’ existence this year. Won’t you join me? Talk shit about someone if it is a truth that ‘weighs’ more than the tacit agreement of a head shake. For example, I don’t like you, Danielle at UNESCO Convention. You did something cowardly to me in 2017: you abused your power in context.
Hey, crazy lady, will you please give me your pants next time?
[#9 written on January 9th, 2018]