We first chatted on Facebook. We were perhaps ‘friends’ who didn’t actually know each other. I may have seen him on Grindr or a sex app, but not so sure.
I have seen him at at least 20 dark parties since. In person I shunned him subtly. I did not want to be touched. By him.
It’s not that I don’t like him, as we’ve never really spoken. I can observe longitudinally someone who is in the slightest bit ‘public’ and intersecting my ‘sphere’. He does. Dark parties included.
Let’s even say I could like him. But first impressions matter.
When I speak to him he ignores me.
He remembers that I pushed him away …
Or is it me who remembers pushing away and I am simply no longer in his sphere?