I have a bias

Atualizado: 28 de abr. de 2021

I am turned off by crystal meth usage. I happen to have a view on its devastation: it is from being in (or sometimes in) the urban gay community of NYC. It is from being from the rural south where de-industrialization leads to unemployment. Leads to knew forms of commerce. Leads to backyard ‘stills’ and cooking labs. Leads to McMinnville being called CrackMinnville. Leads to my mom’s dry humour making me laugh so I won’t cry:

"Well, Mike __’s meth lab caught on fire and blew up the whole apartment building."

Mike is a childhood friend from church. My mom did not ‘enter’ the fact first that Mike had a meth lab. Only that it had the ultimate result of a multiple-unit devastation to his apartment complex. Leads to the county courthouse — where I filed for both marriage and divorce — with a sign asking that meth offenders take a bath before their appearance. I do not understand how it reaches its public because I do not understand when the meth offender has the occasion to enter the front door of the courthouse before his or her court appearance. I do not want to know. Leads to the brutal kind heart of my father Terry Wilder Lester hiring my former classmates — younger classmates — who have aged beyond me and lost their teeth. Having momentarily kicked the meth habit. Leads to erectile dysfuntion. Leads to sadness.

Crystal meth is becoming huge in Mexico DF. I have never known myself to look for it, but it is often apparent on the sex apps, signified by a diamond emoticon or a capital 'T'. Sometimes it is called 'Tina'. I haven't seen it much in São Paulo until recently. Two guys on separate occasions brought it over and asked to use it. I had used it once before in Montreal. I asked both the guys where they learned to use it and both times it was the US. I asked G if he'd ever used it and he said once in Rio with some (US) Americans.

Previously, I thought that the robust culture of cocaine usage in São Paulo might reduce the desire for a new drug. But thinking more on drugs, it seems that things (like synthetics) may work differently as a phenomenon or epidemic. It is said that in NYC the drug was first a white drug and then a black drug, which I think is a comment on class rather than race. In other crystal meth cultures (such as Middle Tennessee), that is not the case or sequence.

The first guy surprised me, but the second guy wore the look of a meth user...on his face. Some sunken parts.

I don't seem to feel it when I use it.

I have a bias. I want to keep it.

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